What happens on Facebook?

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Whether on it’s Facebook, Instagram or the local news, there’s a dangerous habit out there…

 

A quick look

A quick look at your usual news source will reveal a dangerous habit that we can all fall prey to.
I’ve managed to get my Facebook addiction under control (!) but even a quick look there for the purposes of this message, gave me all the evidence I needed.

What I could see in only a few minutes on Facebook was dear friends who had:

Got a new car
Got a new house
Got a new puppy (painfully cute!)
A breathtaking holiday
A Personal Best
And in that one quick look, I saw a total of 3 dear friends who got a review from a customer, so positive it blew them away.

There were more things too, but I think I’ve made my point.

My point

And my point is…how easy it is to look at a social media feed, a magazine, the newspaper, the television or just listen to conversations over lunch and conclude that everyone is having a fabulous life. All of the time.
And sometimes your life might not seem to match up.

Danger afoot!

The dangerous habit is clocking up everyone else’s wins and comparing them against your life. Guess what? It’d be hard to find anyone able to compete against dozens of ‘Best Of’ showreels!

Why it hurts

If you keep looking, you’ll keep comparing and if you keep comparing, you’ll keep coming up short. You might even get in so deep that when you read that someone has had a failure or upset, you secretly (and guiltily) feel a bit heartened by it.
Who compares, loses

My Mum is using every bit of her energy to keep her house in order as well as visit my Dad nearly every day. Then she says “I know people who visit every single day, how can they do that and keep a tidy house, do their shopping and still stand up?!”
She compares herself against someone else’s energy, health, habits, support etc etc. The truth of it is, she’s doing the best she can, with what she’s got. (In fact, she’s doing a little too much, but that is an issue for another day!)

Your Life

So, this week’s Monday Motivational Message, from my CARE Model of Wellbeing, is all about A for Acknowledge.

  • It’s about not looking at what the rest of the world is doing and finding yourself wanting.
  • It’s about noticing your own mountains that you climb, even if someone else might see them as small hills.
  • It’s about noticing all the little wins, the extra effort and the good intentions you put into each day.
  • It’s about acknowledging all the things that make you who you are, and knowing that you’re doing your best.
  • And if you spot someone else’s achievement, celebrate it or ignore it! You can use it to spur you on or refocus on your own journey. Don’t let it stop you in your tracks or make you frustrated with yourself.

 

This week

Good luck spotting your achievements this week, if you’ve got something major to celebrate, that’s fabulous. But actually, it’s celebrating the tiny, regular wins (like untangling your earphone wires) and the boring chores (like cleaning the bath) that really add up to reduce feelings of stress and build a sense of resilience and competence. It’s really worth it, science proved it too!
And it can really cheer up a dark wintry day to regularly say “yeay me” when you’ve ticked something off your list, helped someone out or found your phone 😉

By for now, watch out for those little wins 🙂
Lots of love
Pam x

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