The habits you develop over time are necessary, reducing the amount of decisions you need to make in a day.
But what happens if they’re negative habits?
C is for Compassion
Talking to yourself
Are you a worrier, procrastinator, a non-finisher or a perfectionist?
Whilst there may be some evidence of those behaviours, telling yourself that’s who you are, repeating that story over and over again, could be keeping you stuck in a negative loop.
One of our worst negative habits is not the habit of procrastinating or being disorganised, it’s the habit of beating ourselves up about those things!
Good Stories and Bad ones
How many stories do you have about yourself that you have set on repeat, maybe without realising it?
I have often repeated the story that I’m no good at finishing things off and not getting around to the very things that I really want to do.
Repeating your negative stories keeps you stuck – and feeling rotten!
Noticing what you say about yourself and whether it’s a useful story can be very liberating.
What do you repeat about you?
I was a bit surprised then, last week, to find myself doing a job I’d been meaning to do for ages (like two years!) actually finishing it and feeling good in the process! Here’s how it started…
The First Draft
In 2017 I wrote a short ebook very quickly. It wasn’t the book I’d planned to write but I was meeting so many clients, friends and acquaintances that were overwhelmed and burning out, I felt compelled to jot down all the things I’ve learned about human overwhelm and what to do about it.
It became a little ebook on Amazon and it ticked a box; I’d jotted down all the things I wanted people to understand about burnout and how to avoid it or heal from it.
But it was rushed, unplanned and wasn’t properly edited, so I told myself it wasn’t very good and that I was rubbish at finishing things off properly. I kept thinking I should edit it but didn’t make time to do it. I kept thinking I probably wouldn’t get it finished properly, after all, that was my story wasn’t it.
What I didn’t do, was challenge that story or habit, and tell myself I could change the pattern.
I’m always learning new ways to develop but consistently realise it’s the simple stuff we need to be reminded of, the stuff we already know!
Like noticing how you’re talking to yourself and choosing something more helpful to say in your head.
So I told myself I COULD do a better job of it and I WOULD get it finished and it WOULD be worth it.
I also told myself it WOULD be easy. I would find a way to make it so.
I dived in to the little ebook, tidied it up, edited it into the context of my CARE Model so that it’ll fit with the CARE book once it’s done.
Then, the talented and marvellous Annie made a new cover design and we pressed publish on the second edition of Burnout Buster.
The thing about changing the story you tell yourself and being more encouraging in your head, is that one thing leads to another.
Once the ebook was done, we were on a ‘we can do it’ roll!
So Annie suggested we set it up as a paperback. While I’d still got positive thoughts in my head, it was easy to say ‘let’s go for it’ and by the next day there it was, we’d accidentally made a paperback!
What could you do this week? Perhaps something you’ve been putting off or telling yourself is not the kind of thing you get around to? How might you surprise yourself?
It’s not just about the book
If you’d like to get a copy of the ebook, or paperback and check your stress levels and burnout risk, or support someone else,
here’s the link.
But my main reason for sharing this story with you, is that while the new book is a satisfying result, (I’m SO very chuffed! See the video on Youtube for evidence of my excitement lol) the real win has actually come from the conversations in my head about what else I can now do. When you change the negative story you repeat about yourself, all those ‘I don’t…’ or ‘I can’t…’ thinking habits, for one that’s about ‘I could…’ or ‘I’m going to…’ you will be amazed at what can happen next!
Have fun this week, go on, surprise yourself;
Be C for Compassionate – Kind in Your Mind – and see what magic happens 😉
Lots of love,