Knowing when it’s ok to ask for help is so important when trying to avoid burnout. It’s also important if you’re building trust because…
R is for Reality
Asking for help
When you’re stressed and overwhelmed with how much there is to do, how open are you to asking for help?
Do you struggle to ask for help, even on an ordinary day?
Where trust is built
I heard some interesting research this week from Brené Brown, the American social scientist who has a new book called Dare to Lead. She found that leaders have a greater trust of people who ask for help because they feel they can trust them to be honest when things get too much. Interesting findings when a lot of the time we pretend to be ok, even when we’re snowed under, because we want others to trust our strength and ability.
More important than trust
More important than trust though, is your wellbeing. Not asking for help could mean you head into the kind of mental and/or physical ill-health and burnout pattern that can be difficult to get out of.
People like it
I don’t need to spend a long time convincing you that helping makes people happy. After all, isn’t that what you’re busy trying to do?
What I do need to do, is remind you of it.
People like to help, it makes them feel good. It also grows social connections, and yet again, builds trust.
Dr David Hamilton (who, by the way is speaking in Nottingham soon!Click here for info about his visit) has been studying the science of kindness.
Dr Hamilton found that we feel friendlier towards people we have helped. He also found evidence that being kind to others has a direct positive impact on our cardiovascular system!
So by letting someone help you, you might be saving yourself from burnout, making a friend and improving their health to boot!
“My name is Pam and I find it hard to ask for help”
I’m holding my hand up to how hard it can be to ask for help, and to accept it when it’s offered. I’ve got better over time but I have to keep an eye on it.
I think it’s part of that powerful trait you have to fix things, help others, and to carry on even when you’re tired or overworked. It’s what got you to here and it’s a superpower.
The downside is, that’s what makes it so hard to let someone help, it can feel like failing, giving up, being weak or some other such thing. It can also throw up your issues of unworthiness, putting someone else out, ‘bothering’ other people or even seeming ‘needy’.
Get over it
I say that with all kindness. Let’s ALL, me included, make more of an effort to get over this idea that we’re putting people out when we ask for, or accept, help.
THEY WANT TO HELP! And it makes them feel good.
Despite being a rather marvellous superhero, you weren’t actually made to sort out everything for everybody, nor are you invincible, you will eventually break if you don’t bend a little and share the load.
Why not practice on the easy things?
Try saying yes to someone making you a drink (even if you don’t want one!) and start small. Let the kindness in.
If it helps, remind yourself that by asking for or accepting help, you’re doing them a favour, improving their heart health!
My go first!
So, I’m going to have a go right now (eeek!)
If you know a team or organisation that doesn’t yet know the joy of a People Booster session and you think they need to reduce stress and raise resilience and confidence levels, give them my number and tell them to get in touch. Your recommendation would mean the world to me.
There, see, didn’t hurt a bit.
The R of the CARE Model is for Reality.
Look at the time, energy and resources you have. When you take a look at your present reality, if you don’t actually have enough time, energy or resources to do it alone – ask for help 🙂
Lots of love,