Everybody Matters and the science of mattering


Are you always putting yourself last? Does it wear you out? Here are some thoughts on why it’s FINALLY ok to realise how important you are…

A is for Acknowledge


Honouring your whole self

Last week I was talking about honouring your child-self – the younger versions of ourselves that we all have inside.
This week, I’m moving it up a notch and asking you to consider honouring your whole self.

What makes you, you?

I’ve asked this question before, but last week the tables were turned and someone asked me that question! It’s good to be reminded that, although it’s all worth it in the end, those kind of questions can be tough to answer.
It’s not that I don’t have an answer, the tricky part was working out what was ‘real’.

The Process

The process was cathartic;

  • Peeling away the the things I’m in the habit of saying about myself that may or may not be accurate.
  • Deciphering the answers that, actually, I’ve picked up from other people’s opinions.
  • Re-finding parts of myself that I’ve dismissed or hidden because those feelings or behaviours have been ridiculed or dismissed.
  • And finally, reaching a place inside of my body, heart and mind that feels like my actual self.


And the winner is…

The result is a whole bunch of exciting words and ideas that are set to revolutionise the work I do. Or, more accurately, how I describe what I do. I’ve reached an understanding about my work, why I’m here and how to bring that to the people who need it.
Obviously I’ll keep you posted, my precious reader, but for now I’m only mentioning that as an example of honouring your whole self. And what elements of ourselves we miss, or dismiss, on a daily basis.

Are you a whale?

If you need any help, the answer is no, you are NOT a whale.
But sometimes, it’s like we go around the place like a whale collecting barnacles on our hides. The barnacles stick on to you and appear to part of who you are, but they’re just someone else’s view or even someone else’s fears or inadequacies!

Ditch the shellfish!

Peel the barnacles away and underneath there are parts of you that you might have forgotten about or put away because they didn’t seem to be valued by other people. Parts of you that you used to cherish, or at least just accepted as part of your whole, complete, flawed and perfect self.
You are meant to be who you are and you matter. 
And here’s the science:
When you start to acknowledge your value in the world, your stress reactions diminish and your calm and confidence chemicals increase. It does your immune system lots of good too, but that’s for another day.

For now, I hope you can take this week to notice elements of yourself that might surface. And that, if you usually push them aside, (or even beat yourself up for them!) that you decide, instead, to honour and even celebrate that part of you and be your full, unique, flawed and perfect self.
Much love,
Pam x

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