Are YouÂ Giving 110%?
Well stop it!
Did I really say that? Me? Workaholic, driven, fixer, type A personality, me?
Well, yes and it’s about time too, if we’re going to achieve any kind of balance…
If you turned up at a party with a tray of hand made treats, how pleased the host would be as they let you through the door! You then head into the main room and people reach over and testÂ the treats. TheyÂ praise you and talk aboutÂ how fabulous and tasty they are, they call others over to try them and before you even get as far as the kitchen, the tray is empty. So, what do you do next? Head into the kitchen anyway, put the tray down, feel happy and satisfied, get yourself a drink and start chatting and enjoying the evening? That would make perfect sense and sounds very enjoyable; you’ve done your bit and now you can enjoy yourself.
More, the boy said more!
What if instead you stared at the empty tray and couldn’t stop thinking “Clearly there should be more! I’ve not made enough!” and instead of relaxing, you rush away from the party. You drive as quickly as you can to the nearest supermarket, then head home to make more treats and eventually get back to the party, late and exhausted. By now the party is starting to wind down, some people have already left. You offer treats around but people are now full from other food, they politely refuse and you’re left with an almost full tray of thoughtfully prepared treats that no-one wants. This makes you feel grumpy, you’ve missed the party and no-one appreciates your effort! Well!!
Deflated, exhausted, unappreciated?
Rushing off to make more food might have sounded unlikely but how many times do you do something similar without even realising? Let’s say you’ve already worked hard and you’re at the equivalent of an empty tray, you started with 100% energy and time for the day and now you’re empty. No more time, no more energy. It’s time to say, “That was what I brought and now it’s all used up”.
But how often do you keep giving, keep trying to offer that extra 10% even though you’re running on empty? Why on earth do we do that?
Making sense of the nonsense
Well, a mix of ‘drivers’ are kicking in causing us to over ride our stop button…
Here are the drivers:
The buzz of people loving what you have made, feeling useful, having a purpose andÂ value
The guilt of some people not having enough and feeling like it’s all your responsibility
The fear of making people angry or upset and feeling like you should keep everyoneÂ happy
And so for whichever reason, you rush off to do more, to carry on when you’ve already done enough and have exhausted your energy or time.
Noticing the nonsense
Sometimes we choose to do more because sometimes it’s essential to carry on when we need to rest. But these should be exceptional circumstances, not theÂ norm. When they become the norm you become out of balance and will, one way or another, sooner or later, burn out.
It’s not about becoming lazy it’s just noticing the facts:
Is it time to finish? Maybe you don’t get paid beyond this time or it’s time to eat
Are you running on empty? Tired, brain-fried or ineffective?
Know when it’s time to stop.
But a quick PS!
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Stay balanced, look after you. You’re valuable even when you’re not doing too much! Â x