1 wedding, 3 bites and a kind mind


Originally posted 24/06/2019

Just back from Malta, a very unusual wedding, and with a whole new perspective on the C of my CARE Model!

C for Compassion

Kind in Your Mind


The Most Unique Wedding!

It’s not every wedding that starts with a Hawaiian dress code and inflatable flamingos in the church…

The most unique Groom!

The photo at the top tells a story spanning 35 years. In the first snap, I’m an 18 year old nanny of two delightful children; Richard and his sister Rachel. In the photos, Richie-Roo (as I called him then)  was about 18 months old and below it, his slightly older, bearded, pre-wedding self, when we arrived in Malta.
And so last week, my baby Richie got married.
I was thrilled to be invited to the wedding, and to still be connected to the family after more than 3 decades. Richie and his new and lovely wife live in Malta and so that’s where the wedding was!
Here they are hearing the vicar tell them that their names, Richard and Rhianne, have origins as ‘King’ and ‘Queen’, so very fitting that they sat on their thrones for the service.



How it could have all gone wrong

  • I wasn’t sure I’d chosen the right personal gifts.
  • I took the wrong flip flops and got blisters.
  • I sat on a sea anemone with Richie’s 10 year old niece and we both got stung on the bottom.
  • A mosquito bite on my face swelled up.
  • My throat swelled up in the air conditioning.
  • And on the last day, I did that truly British thing on holiday: I got sunburnt on my belly.


Why do I share this list with you?

Because these are all opportunities when I could have got out the hammer and beaten myself up.
Thankfully, I walked my own talk and realised that self-criticism would not improve any of these things.
I chose C for Compassion and took a breath instead.

Back to work

After a fabulous wedding and gorgeous holiday, I was back at work.
With a stinging bottom (the anemone, remember), a peeling face and a still-red belly, I ran a whole day conference. My sore throat was even worse after another flight and held out until five minutes after the end, when my voice finally cracked.
But the room had been full of staff belonging to Bassetlaw Primary Behaviour Partnership, so the day was fabulous! They were honest about the pressures of keeping kids in school despite their life challenges and they were fun and engaged in the whole session. It always fills my heart up when I work with people doing jobs like these; they help all of us to live in a better, more optimistic world where ‘Everybody Matters’.
(I also loved that I was working with BPBP and I’m PBPB lol.)

What’s your challenge?

What’s your week got in store?
How many opportunities might there be to beat yourself up and give yourself a hard time?
Can you take up this challenge instead and turn every one of those into an opportunity to give yourself a break, take a breath and know you’re doing ok in tough circumstances?

Curtains for you

It’s been 35 years since Richie, always the joker, thought it hilarious to spin himself until he was completely twisted into the floor length curtains. I can still hear his giggles as the whole curtain, poles and fixings fell off the wall.

He still has that mischievous twinkle in his eye when he knows he’s breaking the rules. And everyone loves him for it. Even the vicar smiled at his church full of blow-up palm trees. His new wife Rhianne is thankfully just as crazy, in the most wonderful ways. I think they make a fine team.
Can we all try to be a bit more Richie? Not perhaps pulling the furnishings down, but to smile when it doesn’t go right, and to make our own rules for how life ‘should’ be done?

I dare you 😉
With all my love,
Pam x

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