Are you thinking you don’t have any quirky habits?
I’m not talking about habits like brushing your teeth, looking both ways before crossing the road or which sock you put on first. I’m talking about the habits that aren’t so helpful. The ones that you’d quite like to stop doing but you don’t seem to be able to kick them. Let’s see if you have any of those.
I confess – I’ve got them too
I was brushing my teeth this morning with such vigour that a small slip sent my toothbrush jamming into my gum really hard. It made me yelp and I realised in that moment I wasn’t in balance. I was trying too hard. You can have too much of a good thing. I also have a habit of carrying too much from one room to another because I’m trying to take everything in one trip. It’s crazy, it’s not that far from the lounge to the kitchen, I could just come back for the rest of the things but instead I end up dropping something!
See if you can spot one of your own quirky habits:
- Working extra time on something to make it perfect even though it was good enough half an hour ago
- Not letting anyone help you even when you’re struggling
- Rushing about because that’s what you’re used to, even when you don’t have to
- Eating more than you’ve got room for because you feel the need to clear your plate
- Doing things for other people even when you don’t want to or can’t afford it because you’ll feel guilty if you don’t
Where do they come from?
Well, according to psychologist Kahler, we can fall prey to a number of ‘Drivers’ which send us out of balance. The drivers are:
Do you recognise yours?
Kahler reckoned at first that we pick them up from our childhood but later thought we might be born with some of them.
I really don’t know if we can rid ourselves of them once and for all but we can certainly get better at noticing them and making better choices. Sometimes you might strive for perfection when you don’t need to because it’s something that really matters to you and you’ll feel satisfied and relaxation afterwards. If that’s not going to cause you too much stress or any other ill effects, it’s an ok choice to make.
When we need to stop
The time we really need to take action is when those drivers and the quirky habits that arise from them, are causing us problems with our finances, eating, drinking, energy levels or any numbers of other consequences.
As a lovely Belgian psychologist friend of mine Nancy says to her clients “You always have a choice”. The trick is knowing when that moment is and believing that you can make a different choice than the ones you have in the past.
It’s up to you
I’ll probably still over eat sometimes when the food is just so tasty it’s hard to stop and I’ll probably spend a little more than I should at Christmas. But maybe we can all be a little more aware of those drivers and ask ourselves why we’re going beyond our own healthy balance. If we check in and ask the question, we might just be able to spot an unhelpful driver and save ourselves from a sore gum.
You are enough
I really believe that all of those drivers have a root cause that just shows up in different ways.
We might feel we’re not fast enough, clever enough, kind enough… choose any you like, they all come down to one – a sense of not being good enough just as we are.
Here’s the fabulous bit!
You are. You are enough. Just as you are. No matter what drivers you’ve got going on, the truth is, you’re the one with the steering wheel!
And that’s not all
I have to go further and say that you are enough and then some. You’re actually rather fabulous. And when you let yourself off the ‘perfect’ hook, you realise you really doing ok already and what’s more, things get easier when we don’t take them too far.
I hope you have a week of noticing. And some moments of celebrating balance. Knowing that you’re probably kind of alright really 😉
If you need a bit of help bringing it all into balance, join me on July 15th at my transformational workshop! Click here to read about what magic we’re going to create… Click here for info about Pam’s fab workshop